Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A CRY, A SMILE AND A SIGH

      Many years back my grandmother told me that in a man's  life he cry, smile and sigh. "And believe me", she said, "nobody teaches a man to cry, to smile and to sigh.  A baby comes into this world by announcing his presence with a cry, only there are no tears in his eyes in his first cry.  As he grows up he still cry; he cries when he is hungry and cries when he is discontented.  When he is in pain or in desolation, he cries. Only this time when he cry, there are tears in his eyes.  As a grown up man he still cry. When he failed to realize his dreams or reach his goal, in frustration, he cry.  Most of all, a man cries and shed tears when he lost someone dear to his life and whom he loves so much.  In deep sorrow even in his sleep, a man cry.

      Wonder of wonders, a baby smile.  He smiles when he is happy and contented.  He smiles knowing that he is showered with love and affections.  Growing up to be a man, he still smile.  He smile when he understands, smile when he appreciates and most of all he smile knowing that he succeeded.  A man, when he is happy, even in his dream, he smile.

      Not when still a baby but as a grown up that a man sigh.  A man sighs when he is inspired and sighs when he admires.  A man's sigh is an expression of his longings, words of love and inspirations that his lips failed to say.  Believe me, a man so deeply in love always heave a sigh.

      A sigh of a man may sometimes have deeper meaning.  A sigh is a sign of man's agony, of his frustrations, pain and suffering - all alone for himself and in silence.

      A man came into this world with a cry, brighten this world with his smile and silently leave this world with his last breath in a sound of a sigh.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

MY FOURTH AND LAST TRY

       A few years back, on April 14, 1993, my wife of almost ten years succumb to cancer. She left me our four children; Yentl Mae 9, Dimple 7, Jaycee-R 6 and Jun-jun 2 years old then.

      For the next two years we lived an unhappy and incomplete lives, having no one to tend our home when I am in office and the three kids in school, more so to take care of Jun-jun - the youngest who was often left alone at home and being just taken care of our relatives and neighbors.  Then, one day it dawned on me that what we need is a mother for us to be able to lead normal lives as a family.  The decision was hard for the children and me.  The choice for a mother was harder and how to approach the right woman was the hardiest.

      The first try was to my office mate, she was six years younger than I am. "Would you like to be a mother to my children?" I asked her.  "No!", was her immediate reply, "your kids are naughty", she added without batting an eyelash.  I failed on my first try. A month passed, another try. The second offer was to my former college schoolmate. She was two years my junior.  "Would you like to be a mother to my children?" I asked her.  She replied; "You know Jun, I've got a crush on you since we were in high school and I was frustrated when you did not even glanced in my direction.  I am so happy now that you did, but I am sorry, I don't like to take care of the children not my own."  I failed for the second time.  Three months passed, enough time for me  to heal the pain of two failures.  The third try was to a lovely lady, a neighbor, seventeen years younger my age.  "Would you like to be a mother to my children?, I asked her.  She looked at me, smiled and replied, "I want to be honest with you, I always dreamed of marrying someone like you, a responsible father and a good provider to his family but I never dreamed to be a second wife, much more to be a second mother to someone's else kids. I'm sorry".  I failed for the third time.

      After the third try, realization hit me.  Nobody wants to be a mother to my children, is there something wrong with my kids?  Maybe its because of me.  Maybe I'm too old to remarry.  Maybe somebody wants to be a mother to my kids but would not want to be a wife to someone my age.  Don't give up hope, was my own resolve.  One last try and then no more.  A beautiful lady, a third degree cousin on my father's side.  I'm 41, she is 22 - nineteen years younger.  I told her, "You know you are lovely and I am attracted to you, but I don't want to marry you because we are cousins, what I want is a mother to my kids, would you by any chance, want to be a mother to my children?"  She turned her back to me and was quite for a while but which seemed an eternity for me.  Then she turned to face me and uttered the words that exploded like a bomb in my ears - and which reverberated in my senses even up to this day. She said, " I never did admire you nor liked you though we are cousins, but since the day your children lost their mother, I've been dreaming of the day that I will be a mother to these lovely, wonderful and smart kids."

      That was seven years ago, today, we are living our normal lives as one big happy family with Vivian my young and beautiful wife and mother to my five smart kids. (She gave birth to Mark Dave the following year)

      I succeeded after my fourth and last try!


Notes:  I have written this story on December 9, 2002  and just kept in my files  until today when I decided to post it in my blog.

           Vivian and I parted ways in April 2003 for so many reasons. Mark Dave lives with me and visits her mama at General Santos City once in a while.  Yen-yen turned 26 years  old last May 3 and had graduated from the Notre Dame of Marbel University (NDMU), Koronadal City in March 2006 with a Degree of BS in Electronics and Communications Engineering (ECE);  Dimple will turn 24 years old this coming September 29 and had graduated from NDMU in 2008 with a degree of AB MassCom, major in broadcasting; Jaycee-R will turn 23 years old this coming November 17 and had graduated from NDMU in 2009 with a degree of BS in Industrial Engineering (IE); Jun-jun turned 20 years old last May 13 and will be graduating this year at NDMU with a degree of BS in Information Technology (IT); Mark Dave turned 14 years old last February 9 and is in third year high school at the Notre  Dame of Tacurong College High School Department, Tacurong City.

      


                                                                        

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